How to take over the world (Part One)

1. Buy some monkeys on eBay
(note: They'll never narc on you, they can't even talk)
2. Stock up on monkey chow
(note: Which you cannot buy at PetsMart)
(note: DO NOT run out of monkey chow)
3. Breed monkey with bird to produce flying monkey
4. Breed a virtual plethora of flying monkeys
5. Equip them with AK47's
(note: Not even the army would fuck with a gun toting flying monkey)
(note: If sufficient AK-47's cannot be purchased, I suggest teaching monkeys kung fu, ninja monkeys are almost scarier than gun toting ones)
6. Teach them to deal smack
7. Make monkeys deal smack
8. Repeat step 7 until you have enough money
9. Take over world
(note: I suggest giving the monkeys their own country, they can be quite wily when they are intoxicated)